This past week has left me quite exhausted, and when I look back on it, I get the urge to call myself a failure. I don't know if you've experienced something similar, but it's not pleasant. When I think about the work I want to be doing while I'm living in Atlanta, this past week is a disappointment and a black spot on my record during my year of service to my community.
It all began on a pretty good note. I took a trip out to Oshokosh, WI with the Conyers Pathfinders. (Pathfinders is like a coed boy/girl scouts club with an emphasis on living a God-centered life, in order to become a better leader in their community.)
I was very much looking forward to this adventure, since I thought it would allow me some opportunities to develop stronger relationships with some of the youth Josh works with. Plus, Josh was going as well, so this would be our first camping trip together!
The 14-hour drive seemed to go by pretty fast, and we soon joined the 35,000 teens and youth leaders who had come from all over the world for the International Pathfinder Camporee! Red Flag #1: Since when is a "camping trip" fun when you're camping with thousands of youth groups?
I soon realized that this trip was not what I had signed up for. First of all, the longer I went without air conditioning, a normal shower, and my own bed, the crankier I got. Waking up for breakfast at 6am each morning meant that a couple times I forgot my morning appointment with God. And I could never seem to get used to the smell of the out-houses. When you add to this the challenges of counseling a group of teenagers, and a team of leaders who each have their own idea of how each situation should be handled, it created the perfect opportunity for frustration.
I noticed myself gradually becoming more and more critical of the behavior of the youth, the leadership, and myself. It was an aweful downward spiral that led me to the point where I wasn't enjoying myself, and I'm sure I wasn't making the trip any more enjoyable for others. By the end of the week, I was so tired and ready to go home that I had a hard time carrying on a pleasant conversation with anyone.
How discouraging! I had gone on the trip so that I could build relationships, support the Pathfinder group, and show my "fun side"! Instead, I became easily annoyed, silently bitter, and withdrew when I could.
I'm glad I was able to have this experience because now I know I will never put myself in that situation again, and I now have a new found respect for Josh's ministry.
Thankfully, I serve a God of forgiveness and mercy. He has forgiven me for my weakness and for allowing the devil to fill my heart with contempt rather than love. I am not proud of the way I handled this past week, but I hope to move on and pursue a joyful heart of service for others, to which God calls me.
As a volunteer with World Relief, I have a lot of opportunities to interact with refugees in Clarkston. I've only been volunteering for a few months, but I have met so many people who are from so many different cultures. And each interaction is so different. Because I am a volunteer, my number is on file for the volunteer coordinator to call any time they need someone to randomly do something.
For example, a few weeks ago, I was asked to help a woman navigate her way through the MARTA system so that she could get to her English classes each night. Coming from Somalia, she didn't have much experience with buses and trains. Being a fairly new resident of Atlanta, I don't have much experience either! Nevertheless, Laura from World Relief had faith in me. She guaranteed me that it would be easy to figure out and that World Relief would provide the tickets for the entire trip. All I needed to do what map it out on Google and walk the refugee woman through it. And after all, I had managed to travel around Europe for 9 months using public transportation!
I met Ama and her teenage daughter, Sophie (not their real names), at their apartment around 2 o'clock. The door was opened by a small boy who only spoke enough English to say "come in." I stepped in, and saw Ama getting ready. I greeted her with "Salaam Aleikum," a friendly Muslim (Arabic) greeting that means "Peace be upon you." She may have said something in return, but all I heard was a grunt. She began yelling at her daughter, who was upstairs. Finally, Sophie came down, and again I said one of the few phrases I know in Arabic, "Salaam Aleikum." She replied with "Hello." (This was slightly disheartening when I was expecting the common reply, "Aleikum As'Salaam.")
As we walked toward the bus stop, I asked if Ama had the tickets we needed for the trip. She pulled out one MARTA card, and gestured that this was all she had. I assumed World Relief had put the required amount of money for the 3 of us on one card.
When we got to the bus stop, none of my previous knowledge of bus transportation helped me figure out how to read the schedules. I had to ask someone for help. Finally, we figured out that we could hop on the next bus and take it to the train station.
Once the bus arrived, we all hopped on and told the bus driver that we were all paying with one card. "Nope!" Apparently each travelor needs their own card. So, I pulled out my wallet and paid for two more tickets, knowing I'd have to pay the cost of the whole trip for me and Sophie. That's fine, God's already taken care of it. Sure enough, He had! I had just the right amount of cash in my wallet to pay for the whole trip! I never carry cash!
After arriving at the train station, we tried once again to use the same card for all three of us to walk through the gate into the station. Thinking I was sneaky, I walked through and passed the card back to Ama. It was rejected! Now I'm on one side of the gate, and they're on the other! I tried to explain to them how to buy another ticket, but didn't have much luck. Finally, a group of people walked through, and one of them opened the handicap gate, which stayes open longer than the others. I motioned for Ama and Sophie to quickly walk through, and they made it to the other side!
During the trip, Sophie did most of the talking because she knew the most English. She was a sweet girl with a pleasant smiles, but it was very difficult to carry on a conversation. Most of the time, I would ask her about her favorite subject in school (English).
When the train arrived at our stop, we made our way to the gate. I knew we weren't going to be able to make it out with just one card. We would have to use the handicap gate again. But there was a security guard standing by the gates this time. So, I took a deep breath and walked up to him. I explained our dilemma and our misunderstanding about the tickets. He told us to use the handicap gate, and so we got through again on one ticket!
From the train station, we walked to where Ama would have her English classes. She met with her teacher for a few minutes, and we started the trip back. This time, I was a little more comfortable with the system. I bought all of our tickets (Ama's ticket only had enough money on it to take her one way), and we hopped on the train, then the bus, and back to the apartment by 5pm. The whole trip took a total of 3 hours! Phew!!!!!
I'm thankful for this experience because - I learned how to use the MARTA system
- I found myself much more outgoing with people around me. I realized that when I'm in a position where people are depending on my to help them, I have no problem talking to strangers if I need to. I even had a couple of brief conversations with travelors sitting next to us!
- I noticed how important volunteers like me are. If Ama was left on her own to figure out how to use MARTA, she could have gotten herself lost. As it was, I'm lucky I made it!
- I was given another opportunity to see God provide for me as I put coin after coin in the ticket machines! He knew exactly what I would need before I even got the call to help!
